My guest in today’s podcast is Rose-marie Fernandez, who has dubbed herself the Chief Influencing Officer of her company, Coaching Worx (CoachingWorx.ca). Rose-marie works with leaders and senior executives who want to influence and create greater impact for their teams within their greater organization. Influencers, to Rose-marie, are people who have a deep interest in their own self-development and who support it in the people around them as well.
I originally connected with Rose-marie through our mastermind group, which has been a great journey. Rose-marie is quite familiar with change, having moved continents five times, from the Indian subcontinent to Canada and back, and has lived in 41 different residences. She has changed jobs and even careers multiple times as well. But the one thing that is constant, she says, is that she keeps all her friends!
Today we spoke about change and the energy of money.
Build a New Paradigm of Money
Because she works as an energy coach, when Rose-marie discovered the book The Energy of Money: A Spiritual Guide to Financial and Personal Fulfillment, by Maria Nemeth PhD, it resonated. One big lessons she gleaned from the book is that if you are a victim of money, you’re never going to have enough.
We all struggle with the idea of money, she says, no matter how much we have. One of Rose-marie’s favorite quotes is from Buckminster Fuller: “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”
If you are leading your same old life, she wonders, how will you change? For instance, many of us think of money as something you need to pay the bills. If that’s true, you can simply forego expenses and have fewer bills to pay. That’s not really the problem we have with money.
You’ve been programmed from childhood about how to think about money, and you have to make that reality obsolete, she says. Let go of: “I can’t afford that” or “I can’t do that right now because I don’t have money.” Or “money doesn’t grow on trees” or “ money is the root of all evil.” These are all myths, based on beliefs that are not necessarily yours. You may simply be repeating the story of your parents, environment, education, background, or culture.
Our mastermind has been reading this book together. I found it interesting that the processes this author uses for cleaning up your money energy can be used for time and any other topic you struggle with. The book helps you become more aware of the story you are telling yourself, own it, and erase self-limitations.
Observe and Make Friends with the Monkey Mind
Before she read the book, Rose-marie would set a goal and make the money. It wasn’t magic. She’s been self-employed for many years and knew how to save. But she uncovered a fear of having a lot of money, including: “I will lose my friends because I will have a different lifestyle.”
The book showed her how the monkey mind can play havoc with your money energy. As long as you realize that it’s your friend and will never go away, she reports, then you can learn when to use it and when to tell it to get lost. In the end, she believes, when you ask the universe to help you go on a journey then success is inevitable; you just don’t know when.
The first step is to become self-aware of how you think about money and how you create negative (and positive) energy for yourself around finances. For me, I used to let bills sit on my desk. I would avoid paying them for months. Now I pay them right away and include a “thank you” because I’m grateful to be able to pay my bills! The same with my taxes. Many people struggle and delay doing their taxes. Observe your habits and your language, and those of the people around you as well, to catch yourself in limiting beliefs.
Clear Scarcity-of-Money Blocks
Rose-marie’s greatest awakening was seeing amount of baggage she was carrying about money. “If I have money, I have to look after my family. I have to do XYZ…” And also beating herself up for past mistakes about money: a bad investment, or spending frivolously like we all do when we’re young. She had to forgive herself for it. She realized: that was then and this is now, and became grateful for the learning experience.
Another favorite quote of Rose-marie’s is: “We are programmed to be mediocre, but we were born to be extraordinary.” Each day that you do something out of the ordinary, she says, you will be amazed at how much easier it is to start thinking about how to change other things like money. Start thinking that you deserve it.
I so agree. For a long time I struggled with money, too, making but not keeping it. I worried that people wouldn’t love me if I kept what I earned. Many times we make assumptions based on old experiences we had 20 years ago, and we need to rethink those. That’s our inner gremlin, which we have created.
Let Go of Past Money Shame
A great first step, Rose-marie says, is to not to be ashamed of anything you have done in the past with money. Ask yourself what you are hanging on to. This is what’s getting in the way of money today. Emotions often activate these issues for us.
For Rose-marie, it was losing a chunk of money many years ago. Instead of continuing to feel miserable about it, she sat down and wrote a eulogy for that money and event in her life. In a eulogy, you acknowledge the good, then you state that it’s time to let it go. She took all the related documents out of her home and burned (cremated) them. She made that reality obsolete, and no longer suffers from it.
Maybe you spent a lot of money on a designer dress for a wedding. It has hung in your closet for 20 years and you can’t wear it anymore, but you still keep it because you spent so much. When you give it to Goodwill so that another person can use it, you likely won’t even miss it.
Rose-marie says this exercise is like getting rid of something toxic. You should feel unburdened, with a sense of freedom that you’ve conquered and resolved something. You will feel a new open space where something new can come in, possibly a new way of earning income.
Last year when I moved from a 2000- to a 500-square-foot home, I had to downsize my closet. Mostly I was wearing all my favorite clothes and shoes, so it wasn’t as hard as I expected. My reluctance, however, was tied to the money I had spent, or that “one day I might want to wear this.” The day I donated it all, I was fascinated with how energizing it felt. Those items have a new life now. Within six months of my move, business picked up and the money flowed. I’m now booked solid.
So many of us need to let go of specific, painful money experiences from our past. This book helps you identify and work through them. This is the beauty of executive coaching, too. Coaches essentially collect techniques and tools to help you do exactly this, declutter your mind and make space for something new.
Set a Stretch Goal Every Day
Set a goal to do one thing that takes you out of your comfort zone, every day. Rose-marie was afraid to look at her bills because she didn’t want to see that she’d spent too much. Today, she’s not afraid—it’s her own money, so why is she afraid to confront something that’s hers?
We love this book! It’s good for a second and even a third read. For each chapter there are exercises and reflective work that you can work through with your spouse, by yourself or with a group.
You are the one who creates your own energy. If something is not working, study it. Become more self-aware, whether you read a book or find a coach or change your life on your own, and you will learn, as Rose-marie says, that there’s more than one way to peel an apple. Find out what’s not working and try something else. And if you need help, give one of us a call.
And always remember: you were born to be extraordinary.
Contact Rose-marie at: CoachingWorx.ca, or call her at 647-607-7053.