This is an opportunity to explore and master your emotions.
How to Master Your Emotions for Greater Success at Work and Home
Do you struggle with your emotions? As a woman striving for success in business, this can be particularly challenging. I want to share with you how you have the opportunity to grow yourself, your team, and your relationships by using your emotions.
Most of us want to hide our emotions. Emotions are only signals. If you consider that emotions are not good or bad, it will be a lot easier for you to address those emotional states and not to feel that you have to hide on a regular basis.
Uncovering Your Emotions
Think about the emotions you are trying to hide at all costs. Mine was shame. This is an emotion that I really want to hide that I don’t want to experience at all. But to address it now, I let it sit to understand exactly where it comes from. Then, I can address the situation in an effective way and ensure that this feeling stops coming back.
I experienced shame certainly several times in my life because people accused me or told me things that I took as shameful. It was all based on society, based on the judgment of others, and based on my culture. Because it was really painful, I chose to hide it. I gave power to others to manage the way I should feel. Shame, like guilt, is not based on you. It’s based on what you think other people will think of you. It has been a healing process for me and my clients to be able to look at shame, guilt, fear, in the eyes. And looking at it from the positive perspective.
When you are feeling fearful or scared about a situation what’s most important for you is to notice that it’s happening in order for you not to create more anxiety. Write down what’s happening in your body, write down what’s happening in your mind. What type of stories are you telling yourself? It’s really important for you to first accept those emotions. You don’t have to share it with anyone, but when it does happen don’t discard them.
Allow it to Happen
The next step for you will be to be in a place where you have the opportunity to plant the seeds and use those emotions as true signals to be able to address situation. Recently, I have been going through the process of overcoming some challenges. Changes are happening in my life and I feel really comfortable with them when I am able to understand and to feel my emotions. Generally, when it comes to fear, guilt, and shame we just react. We don’t have the ability to respond until we notice and we allow the emotions to happen. Planting the seeds of change is being able to respond to shame, guilt, and fear in an effective way that will empower us.
It doesn’t mean you will become a superwoman or superman. It just means you will quit telling yourself those bad stories, fearing a situation, limiting yourself, and hindering your potential.
Evaluate the Intensity
How intense are your emotions each time they happen? The more you can look at them and the more you can put them on paper, the lower will be the energy. First, be in the moment when the emotion is happening. Evaluate the intensity of this emotion each time it arises. Write down how this is manifesting and what type of stories you are telling yourself. Now it’s time for you to face them and to ask yourself, now what? You will see that it will already diffuse these emotions.
Use Them Wisely
I had an executive client a few years ago who was thinking limited because of her emotions and didn’t want to cry. Because she didn’t want to cry, she never expressed herself in a meeting and left frustrated each time. When we were able to look at the emotion that was behind the crying and to differentiate the crying from weakness, she was able to express her frustration that was the emotion behind it in a totally different and more effective way. She could not only be more credible, but also self-compassionate about her way of expressing her frustrations.
When the crying started to come, she knew frustration was the emotion behind it. When she was able to have these emotions as a signal, she was able to express herself in a way and fashion that were comfortable for her and comfortable for other people. It’s all about noticing and creating awareness. I like to say awareness is your power to choose your experience of life and I think that it’s totally true. What do you think?
Finally, you have to practice. It’s time for you to look at how you can use those emotions to really serve you. What if to experience a different emotion you just have to change your belief and your thought process? This is what mastery is at the end of the day. It’s not being affected by life and our emotions, but more using our emotions to help us to move forward to create the experience that we want to have.