Resistance in life

Ep.011 Exploring Resistance



Working through resistanceTamara Lebak, Executive Coach

Tamara is an Internationally certified executive coach, published author, Unitarian Universalist minister, Gestalt trained organizational development consultant. Tamara’s change management experience focuses on social and emotional intelligence, cultural competency, and maneuvering between multiple levels of system, grounded in her philosophy that our values should guide our priorities.  Tamara is dedicated to developing effective leaders, raising emotional and cultural awareness, promoting truthfulness and authenticity, and ultimately contributing to creating a more just and compassionate world.  She is a lover of pit bulls, a singer songwriter, and a proud mother of 1.

Deal With ResistanceExploring Resistance

Personal brand strategy is important to everyone regardless of whether you’re an executive, professional, entrepreneur, student, or stay at home mom. Everyone should be a steward of how their personal brand is received by their audience. Hence, your personal brand is YOUR opportunity to differentiate yourself from others in your industry. You are the one thing you have that your competitors don’t have. And your authenticity is what will make you stand out from others who may offer similar skills, products, or services.

Every single thing that you do makes an impression on how your audience perceives you. Each moment that your audience comes into contact with your personal brand is a touch point. And having personal brand consistency across all touch points is the key to a clear and consistent personal brand image.

Your personal brand tells a story. And if you don’t create that story, your audience will. So you should be the one in charge of crafting the story that your personal brand tells. And you can do this in so many ways in person and online.

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4 Tips to Show Up in the World Exactly How You’d Like to Be Perceived

How we show up in the world has a major impact on how successful we are at achieving our goals. Showing up how you want in the world is about narrowing the gap between your intent and your impact. What am I wanting to get across? And how I am actually received? It sounds simple enough, but as complex human beings our actual impact can get lost in our intentions.

To help you show up exactly how you’d like to, I’ve brought in my friend and fellow executive coach, Tamara Lebak.

Tamara Lebak is an is an Internationally certified executive coach, published author, Unitarian Universalist minister, and Gestalt trained organizational development consultant. Tamara is dedicated to developing effective leaders, raising emotional and cultural awareness, promoting truthfulness and authenticity, and ultimately contributing to creating a more just and compassionate world.

Accept the Necessity of Resistance

If you are, for example, trying to lead a change initiative as an executive in an organization and there’s no resistance, something doesn’t feel right. The reality is, you’re probably missing a piece of the picture. Knowing where there’s resistance is key because it means that we have a larger scope and a bigger picture as we’re moving initiatives forward.

On an individual level, if we haven’t integrated into ourselves key pieces of our personality, our history, our own struggles, or how we’ve come to be who we are in the world and we’re spending our energy fighting against those experiences it actually drains us and our presence in a way that keeps us from being effective.

As an executive coach, Tamara runs into executives who will say, “We don’t need to talk about my family,” or “We don’t need to talk about my childhood.” That’s all true, but at the same time, if you’re repeating an experience over and over and over again, you’re going to continue to do those same things over and over and over again until you have an awareness of why that is.

Change is an opportunity. If there is no resistance, something is missing. That resistance is what helps us make sure we’re addressing the problem properly and producing sustainable change.

Boardroom in the Brain

A favorite exercise of Tamara’s to do with her clients is about the boardroom in the brain. The idea is you can hire and fire the boardroom of voices in your head. You decide who has the mic. When you recognize and don’t resist those characters in your head, you’ll be able to show up in the world how you want to show up.

Imagine the three-year-old self, standing up in the chair, grabbing hold of the mic, and going, “No! You can’t do that! It’s too scary.” But as the CEO, you know you aren’t going to drown, you aren’t going to be eaten by saber-toothed tigers. Put the scared three-year-old to the side and take back over.

Hope in the Face of Suffering

In many ways, hope itself is an act of rebellion and change. Hope and joy are changing the system. It’s difficult to see this because the trauma bond is so easily established. The status quo says that we can stand in a grocery line and all commiserate about how slow the checker is and how terrible it is. It’s very easy for us to bond with one another about how difficult things are.

Active resistance is taking a completely different mode and saying, “No, I’m going to embrace, I’m going to love, and I’m going to seek abundance.” This act of rebellion will help you show up how you want no matter the circumstances.

Tamara wants more people to come from a place of abundance in the world in every area of life whether or not they’re executives, leaders, or coaches. It’s a radical stance to be able to stay joyous and hopeful.

Persistence in Failure

One way that many of us lose our authentic selves is in the experience of failure. We fail and suddenly it’s all over. Tamara has a different approach. She wants everyone to fail. And if it’s too dangerous to be failing in your business or love life, maybe you need to be to be risking in some other area. Maybe it’s a hobby or trying something new, but if we’re not failing at something, then we’re not risking enough. We’re too comfortable.

Changing the world requires more risk and more failure in order to move the ball forward. As coaches, we want to encourage people to fail because failing is simply part of the process.

When you approach showing up how you want in a more informed way, thinking of your impact and your ability to control your behaviors, you’ll come much closer to how you’d like to be perceived.


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