diamonds in the mud

Ep. 006 Diamonds and Pearls Can Be Found In The Mud

Diamonds Can Be Found In The Mud
Dr. Gail Hayes,

When looking for an internationally recognized communicator who ignites the atmosphere with contagious enthusiasm and a passion for purpose, you have but to look directly at Gail Hayes or Dr.Gail, as others affectionately call her.
Dr. Gail is an executive leadership coach and has served as a contributor for Hufffington Post, Essence Magazine, MSNBC’s The Griot, Onyx Woman Magazine, Precious Times Magazine, More To Life Magazine, and several other print and online media outlets. She lived in Asia for over four years and in Europe for over ten years.
there is light at the end of the tunnelWhile in Europe, she served as a training consultant for Office or Personnel Management’s (OPM) European Training Division where she specialized in Office Protocol, Management/Employee Relations, Crisis Intervention and

She served as the first Black female law enforcement officer and fire fighter in Chapel Hill, NC. She also founded and served as the Director of The European Executive Women’s Forum, the 1st active European Network of the National Association for Female Executives (NAFE). In January 2016, NC Governor Pat McCrory appointed her to serve as a Commissioner on the NC African American Heritage Commission. In July 2016, she was appointed to the Leadership Council of the NC Institute of PoliticalcLeadership (IOPA). These experiences allow her to relate to diverse audiences. She produces and hosts the Handle Your Business Girl Television and radio programs. Her digital magazine, The Zone, will debut in 2017. She has also appeared on numerous media outlets including the QVC Shopping Channel, NBC’S My Carolina Today, Atlanta Live – TV 57, Total Christian Television, Denver Daystar, The Word Network, and Babbie’s House. She served as an On-Air talent for UNC-TV where she assisted with fund-raising campaigns. Gail also served for 3 years as the voice of the Motivational Moment on the KD Bowe Morning Radio show on The Sheridan Radio network in 35 markets and on Radio One Detroit’s The Karen Dumas Show’s feature, Purpose Point with Dr. G. Dr. Gail is also a professional vocalist who has performed in Europe, Asia and in the US. She is the author of over 30 books including One Minute Success Secrets for Women, The Power of a Woman Who Leads, You are a Daughter of the King, The Power of a Parent Who Leads, and the Handle Your Business Empowerment Series. Although she has lived on three continents, she is quick to let others know that her favorite place on earth is wherever she and her children can laugh and love.

Dr. Gail’s Quote

“If you don’t know who you are, you will never know what belongs to you!”

Her Favorite Book

Her Contact Information



How to Embrace Change as An Empowered Woman

Feel like everything is changing in your life and you’re struggling to remember who you are? We’ve been there. Today I’m sharing wonderful tips on how to handle this change as an empowered woman from my friend, Dr. Gail Hayes.

Dr. Gail is an internationally recognized communicator and executive leadership coach very much acquainted with the experience of change. With her father in the military, she spent her childhood in Asia and later moved back to the U.S. before going back and forth to Europe and places all around America.

This constant change turned Dr. Gail into a veritable change girl. But while she was used to moving, a big moment of change for her was becoming the first African American woman in law enforcement and firefighting in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

Even though these changes brought major challenges, Dr. Gail experienced great rewards. While living in Germany with her husband, Dr. Gail explored a number of interests from creating a fashion accessory line to touring as a professional singer. At the end of the day, she discovered an interest in understanding and empowering women. Change helped Dr. Gail discover who she really was and eventually write her first book to help other women do the same.

Pick Up Your Mirror

One of Dr. Gail’s favorite quotes is, “If you don’t know who you are, you will never know what belongs to you.” Identity is such a critical piece with women. We are bombarded with images of what we should be all the time. But in fact, every woman owns a mirror. Sometimes she doesn’t know where it is. Sometimes her friends have to pick it up for her. But once you look at the mirror and tell yourself how awesome you are, you’ll change your attitude and how you feel about change.

We are always influencing people as wives, mothers, sisters and friends. Dr. Gail tells us feminine power is not a joke. We can go into a room and either influence or infect our atmosphere. That’s how powerful we are. So, we have to make a choice.

When working with women, Dr. Gail gives this mantra: “I’m a powerful young female. I wear strong feminine perfume. I can either influence or infect my atmosphere. So I choose to use my powers for good and not for evil.”

Remember to Find the Pearl

When things aren’t exactly how you want them to be, you have a choice. You can either focus on the mud and stay there or look for the pearl that can help you get out of there.

I see so many women today that are successful by many standards, but are still unhappy. They’re not able to look at themselves as people who can bring positive things and didn’t find the pearl yet. Sometimes being in the mud is the place that you need to be to sit down, fertilize the ground and rest instead of looking and chasing.

When Dr. Gail was a law enforcement officer, one of the things she learned was that you must write down and create a document for everything. We women forget our accomplishments. We don’t write them down. Dr. Gail learned from the world of men to document her accomplishments and when she felt bad, she would go back to her book and say, “Oh! I did this!”

Turn on Your Light

Change is important in our life today. It’s crucial that we remember there’s light at the end of the tunnel when we’re going through this change. You have to open your eyes so you can see it.

Dr. Gail likes to say women are in the tunnel with a new car and they forget to turn the lights on. The secret is you are the light. If you just understood how much light you bring, darkness would flee in front of you. All you have to do is turn on the switch.

Telling your story liberates you and it liberates others. When you start telling your story there is going to be somebody who has a worse story than you. You are going to wonder why you are complaining. There is always somebody else who has had a rougher story than you and they are still standing. Some of them are not standing. Some may be in a wheelchair, some have disease and they are so glad just because they can see the light of a new day. When you talk about diamonds and pearls, sometimes they are not in the mud. Sometimes we have to get into the mud and in order to see them in the shore and riverbanks.

As you begin to embrace change with these techniques, you’ll grow into the empowered woman you were meant to be. Find a partner on this journey and you’ll be supported throughout every twist and turn life might throw at you.

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